As humans, we want to make the people we love and care about happy. We often go above and beyond what is expected of us in order to please others and make their lives a little easier. Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to us spreading ourselves too thin and sacrificing our own health and happiness. Learn how to say no in a way that shows support for your loved ones while still protecting your own health.
Benefits of Saying No
Saying yes all the time can lead to feeling overstretched and stressed out. When we overbook ourselves, we raise our stress levels and limit our ability to focus on our top priorities in life. In fact, the ability to say “no” is often considered a key indicator of healthy boundaries in a relationship.
Psychology Today highlights the benefits of saying “no,” stating, “Saying No is one of the most important ingredients in a life filled with peace of mind and contentment. This is not a No rooted in cynicism or emotional withdrawal; with the ability to say No comes balance and healthy boundaries. Despite the benefits of this universally understood word, many of us have a hard time saying it for fear of upsetting someone else, and we may end up feeling burdened, resentful, and even victimized. Ironically, we forget that we were the ones who said Yes in the first place.”
Saying “no” can free you up to focus on the things you feel are most important. Whether it is in regards to your finances, your schedule, or any other area of your life, protecting your boundaries can lower your stress levels and encourage healthy relationships.
Tips for Saying No
Saying no doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable situation. The way you frame the message often determines how well it is received. When you answer with hesitation in your voice, you give up your power and make it seem as though you are wanting the other person to convince you to change your mind. Instead of answering by saying, “I wish I could,” or “I can’t,” frame it in a more direct manner. Saying “I don’t,” is more firm, and less open for debate. The New York Times highlights this topic in an article, asserting, “When subjects said “I don’t” versus “I can’t,” they were more effective in getting their point across, and the sellers were more willing to accept their refusal.”
It also helps when you compare the question you are being asked against your long term goals. If what you are being asked to do takes you further away from your goals, recognizing that fact makes saying no easier. Setting healthy boundaries in our relationships will ultimately help us live healthier, more fulfilling lives in the long run.
Learn to Say No More Often
Saying no has become a lost art in our busy society. We often become so caught up in feeling obligated to help others that we forget to set boundaries and take care of ourselves in the process. Recognize the benefits of saying no and put our tips into practice. The more often you say no, the better you will get at it.
